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Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Patience

Patiently Waiting....

Patience has not been one of my strongest traits. 
In fact, it's probably one of the hardest things I struggle with. 
 
Today's doctor visit went well until I found out my delivering doctor is now on a "leave of absence" and will not be returning until later in the year or possibly not at all. That really frustrates me because I have bonded with him, he knows my medical history, our birth plan and even knew me in passing by my first name.  I can't say that about any other doctor or mid-wife at the practice (but I guess you can't expect them all to).  More not-so-great news at today's visit was that they decided not to move my delivery to April 18th but instead keep it at the original date scheduled with a doctor I have not even met yet!! I guess you can say that I am frustrated and overall anxious to be done with these last four weeks. 
 
Want to know what else?
 
I am NERVOUS..
Nervous and scared to death because I know that I am going to have another c-section.
I had complications delivering my son 10 years ago.  I was in labor for 20 hours and I pushed for over 7 hours with no success and then later found out that an emergency c-section needed to be performed.  I was in no way ready or prepared for such news.  It was probably the worst experience I have ever went through.  To think that you are getting somewhere with labor and finding out they are performing an emergency c-section.  It was rough but my beautiful boy made it safely into the world healthy and happy.  This time around, I am trying to prepare more and be strong.  They tell me it will be a lot easier this time but I do not intend it to be.  Maybe the part of actually "not laboring" will be but not a scheduled c-section.  I mean, come on!! It's surgery. I am not going to lie when I say that I'd love to think that they would give me some "happy" juice before going into surgery that morning.
 
On an ending note, I am still feeling great and feel truly blessed to be bringing a little girl into this world and we cannot wait for everyone to meet her. Until then, I am working on my patience and will be trying my best to stay positive and enjoy these last weeks of pregnancy.
 
But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Romans 8:25
 
{Photo Credit:  My maternity shoot with BPosh Photography}
 
Thanks for stopping by.
xo

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